33rd - Sometimes Silence Isn't Golden
"First they put away the dealers, then they put away the prostitutes, then they shooed away the bums, and beat and bashed the queers. Turned away asylum seekers, fed us suspicions and fears. We didn't raise our voice, we didn't make a fuss. It's funny, there was no one left to notice when they came for us."
32nd - Gig Photos
Just a few snaps for now.
I started reading "The Clinic" by Jonathan Kellerman yesterday and finished it today. Quite good. My back acted up two nights ago and has gotten steadily worse since then. To the point where I can't really move my lower back. So I'm loaded on a ton of painkillers and all hopes of thinking clearly have gone out the window. Still waiting to hear back from the parental units on whether or not I can paint my room black and hang dead bats from the ceiling. Just kidding. I'm going for a light green shade. Or maybe maroon. And no dead animals, but a shitload of photos on the walls.
Strays Don't Sleep songs make me cry. Oh how emo of me. I'm going to get started on a new book after this entry.
31st - I Heart Punk Rock
This post is dedicated to Rachelle Gabriel, or Elle. Or Elleh. Or my Punk Rock. Basically she is the bestest best friend ever and no one will ever be able to top her. This girl has been there for me for the last few years of my life and we've been through thick and thin together. If I had to list down everything she has done for me to make things a little easier or to make me smile or cheer me up when I'm feeling down, then I'd be writing all night. Hey, Elle, remember that sleepover at your house where we tried to watch The Amityville Horror? I say "tried" because we spent about 95% of the time looking away from the screen and then we put on that movie that put us to sleep in five minutes. Remember the sleepover at my house with your little sister where we made all those videos of us dancing to that "Can't Touch This" song? Remember your last visit to Philippines when I made you go to a Cueshe gig? Hehehe. I told you before that you cannot visit Philippines without going to one of their gigs! Remember all the websites we made, and the fandom, and the sitting together in class and laughing at all of our teacher's quirks?
COMOIN!!! Hahahahaha. No words can express how fucking thankful I am that you are in my life and for all the memories. They are what I look back on when I need something to smile about. Your emails are the ones I can never bring myself to delete from my inbox. And I miss you so much. There are times when all I need is to be able to pick up the phone and call you but it's not that easy anymore. I cannot believe we are in living in different timezones now, and it sucks major. But I know that you will always be there for me, and I will always be there for you.
I know your life in Cali will be amazing and it should be because you, above all that I know, deserve it. You are talented and funny and beautiful, inside and out, and I love you to bits and pieces. Someday, when we are 20-something, we'll sit and discuss grown-up (or not so grown-up things, because we will always be little kids at heart) over breakfast or lunch or dinner. And we might even be roomies. And will have fantastic jobs and spiffy cars. Hehehe. Just as long as you are still in my life by that time, all will be good.
Paint Pastel & Punk Rock ♥
30th - Still In Prison.
I'm not really in prison. It just feels that way. The only time I have stepped foot out of the house in the last week & a half was to go back to the hospital for a check-up. And I've been prescribed more vitamins and even more days of being stuck at home. Shit. I'm going fucking INSANE. The last time I was forced to stay at home for this long was last year, when I broke my foot.
Oh yeah, just to make everything make sense: I have chicken pox. Hence the being imprisoned in my own house thing. Why the hell did I remain so immune to this cursed pox thingymajig when I was a kid?!
And he thinks I'm iffed at getting chicken pox because I like to make believe I'm invincible but, actually, it's mostly because he was the first to tell me I have chicken pox and I just hate it when he's right about something because then he goes all "I told you so" on my ass.
Gah. I miss the outside world. I miss going out with friends. Going to gigs. I miss Carla & Joko and the rest of my friends. I miss him. And I (can't believe I'm saying this but) miss school. It's going to be hell catching up with all that I've missed, and going to miss. Finals in a few weeks. I'm fucked.
So has my misery made you happy yet?
I've been trying to find ways to pass my time. Photoshopping & organizing the ten million photos taken during the Nueva Ecija & Tarlac leg of Cueshe's Pilipinas tour, designing, smoking, eating (as healthily as I can although I did pig out on donuts yesterday & gave myself a major headache), downloading songs, watching eps of One Tree Hill & Smallville & The OC, a lotta texting, bothering people on YM & MSN, sleeping (but not too much because I get migraines from too much sleep) and countless hours going through the online portfolios of other people. Now I'm thinking of digging up the novels I know I have lying around somewhere. And putting together a serious portfolio of my own. Maybe do a little drawing. And I'm trying to persuade my parents to let me renovate my room. Hopefully, hopefully. I'm just so damn BORED.
29th - Collide
When the cold comes crashing down,
And the fight lost what it's about.
I could tell that you'd left.
It's a shame what we've become,
When we hurt the ones we love.
It's a place I can not go,
Anymore.
When we collide we lose ourselves.
When we collide we break in two,
And as we push and we shove and we hurt the ones we love,
It's a hard mistake.
When we collide,
When we collide.
It's a hard mistake,
When we collide.
28th - Six Slash Nine Slash Oh Six
To summarize...
Wednesday night. Cueshe gig in Padis LP. Sisig & San Mig Lite for dinner. Boring opening band with their songs meant for heartbroken people who want to get fucking wasted. Sending MMS to Chuck, Nonoy and Argie; cute pictures yehey!
ALAK PAAAA!!! Special delivery of the Studex posters haha. Mike's pasalubong from Janet in Dubai; jumbo Toblerone and jumbo Marlboro for a spoiled drummer. Carla got the Toblerone!
Feelingeras. Evilness.
"May iingitin ako...mission na ito." Major, major
kulitan with Jay. Less-than-wholesome thoughts and
hoy, todo minanyak ako last night ah. My top that the PAs wouldn't stop commenting on. Carla and I staring at Argie for no reason other than to make him hilariously self-conscious. Brian being cute when we tried to do the whole staring thing at him too. Picture picture. Mike's awesome memory. "Look how they SHINE, look how they SHINE for you." Panira si Ruben. Hahahaha. Carla's "I HATE YELLOW!" comment. And constant yelling of "I DON'T WANNA MISS A THING!" Watching in lights; I follow your eyes, they meet mine, you make my heart beat just that bit faster. Picture picture. Kiss Kiss. Sleeping over at Carla's.
PG sa Toblerone and chikahan galore. I love Cueshe. I love their PAs. I love Carla. The end.
Onto the jpegs.
Mike & Carla. Cuteness.
Yummy.
Mission? Hell yeah.
Hah. I don't know.
And the only thing I can say is...I love Jay's necklace.
And for the
danda-est picture of the night...
Boobs and cleavage.
The pictures of Jay's attempt at a close-up of my cleavage and the picture I took down his shirt are...not going to be posted here. Hah. Toodles!
27th - Three Fifty
Monday 3 songs...two days late. Yehey!
At Least I'm Known For Something by New Found Glory
I'm best known for failure
Best known for giving up.
Float On by Modest Mouse
I backed my car into a cop car the other day
Well, he just drove off, sometimes life's OK.
Your Winter by Sister Hazel
Take my thoughts for what they're worth
I've been acting like a child.
Since it's past midnight, it's now Wednesday...so yesterday would be Tuesday. Yeah, I know, I just unlocked the meaning of life with that realization. Anyhoodles. So
yesterday, I was sitting at home trying to find an excuse to leave the house when Carla told me that Chuck texted her to tell us to go to 6cyclemind's band practice. So we went.
Madali kami kausapin eh. When we got there, the band had already finished their practice. Mwahahaha! So Carla, Chuck and I went to Chuck's house and hung out there until sometime past midnight. We helped Isidro carry his guitars to his house from the parking lot - Carla and I were so in our PA mode. Lots of
chika and whatnot. BFF! Hahahaha. Plotting of evil ways to drive a certain Chuck-obsessed fan absolutely mad with jealousy went down. Insert psychotic laughter here.
I made a compilation of a buncha random songs for two people I absolutely adore. I can be sweet, too. I'm off to burn the songs onto discs and then to watch more Smallville episodes. Have officially forgotten what sleep is. I watched an epi last night that creeped the fuck out of me and made me too scared to go to the bathroom.
Oh, before I go, here's a statement made on my birthday eve (Carla wrote the sign!):
Hell yeah.
26th - Lomosapiens
Ever heard of lomo cameras? They're awesome. I have an Actionshot lomo, which I need to start using again, because they are the funnest cameras ever. And I hereby declare "funnest" an actual word. Bite me, Webster. Ever since Kuya Alvin set up my PC in my room, I've had access to all my old files from Hong Kong and I can't stop looking through old pictures. So expect me to post a lot more jpegs from my old life in fits of nostalgia. And just because I love pictures, and sometimes it rocks that I'm the only one that knows the stories behind them. Right now I'm thinking back on summer 2005, where beach trips, movies, caramel fraps, pools, casual flings with the shortest shelf lives ever, Death Cab for Cutie's "Photobooth" (among other songs), and Friday nights in Sai Kung ruled our world.
Lesson for the day: don't spill coffee on your mouse. Bad things happen. I had to harass Kuya Alvin for another mouse after mine refused to work.
And as the summer's ending, the cold air will wash your hard heart away.
25th - Cursed Objectives
Carla and I were kindly given tickets to the Penshoppe Denimlab Rockfest by Darwin, 6cyclemind and Callalily's manager. It was held at the Araneta Coliseum on September 1. So that's where we were Friday night. And I'm pretty sure the damn thing was cursed, because Ney fell into a hole onstage, hit his head and was taken to the hospital after they performed. Then, while we were at the hospital, Chuck told Carla and me that Heart Evangelista had slipped twice on the runway. About fifteen minutes after he told us that, a van pulls up and Heart Evangelista is rushed to the ER in a wheelchair with what looks like a twisted ankle. As I said to Carla and Chuck, "This is an experience. The very first time I saw Jericho Rosales and Heart Evangelista in person was in a hospital." I gotta say that Heart is very, very pretty even when she looks like she's about to start crying and Jericho is so very wafu. Aw. Favourite celebrity couple in Philippines! Hahaha.
Anyhoodles. Ney was released the same night, smiling as he walked out of the hospital. Aww. Whatta trooper. Cute!
About the actual Rockfest thing...well, Carla and I managed to watch performances from Pedicab, Imago, 6cyclemind, Juana, Callalily, Hale, Sandwich, and Protein Shake. I know I'm forgotting a few more bands, but oh well. Didn't stay long enough to catch Spongecola. Left just as Sugarfree were starting. I adore Imago's "Tara Lets" (song namin ni Carla mwahaha!) and I always end up dancing to Sandwich's "Sugod". Such a fun song, especially live. The way Sandwich handled the crowd was amazing. Hale was a disappointment. Sad, but true. Gwapo nga si Champ pero pumipiyok talaga at sintonado. I'd still go see Hale live, but not to witness Champ's less-than-stellar vocal abilities but just to stare at him because he's oh-so-very pretty. So point proven na pagdating sa live performances, winner ang Cueshe. Hahaha. It's bad to compare, but I can't help it.
Since I am broke and actually extremely tired, I stayed at home all day the next day and did the following: eat, sleep, text, download songs, surf the Internet and watch Smallville. How productive, right? I know, I know. Loves it.
Can't afford to be distracted this coming week. Don't have the time, and frankly, I'm sick of being distracted. Like I said a few entries back, it hurts to miss someone to the extent that I miss him. But I can't keep letting it make me lose my focus. I don't think keeping myself busy will make the missing him thing stop, but it will help me take my mind off it for a little while. Which is what I need. And another thing I need is to learn to be objective. If things don't work out, I have to be objective in order to keep some of the things I love dearly in my life. It will hurt, but then again, love always does.
24th - I Eat Bands For Breakfast In Eastwood
Before I get to all the kwento, I just have to say that "You're So Last Summer" by Taking Back Sunday is the emo-est song ever. Want proof? "You could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt." Jebus. Point made.
Okay, kwento time (with accompanying pics, of course.)
Inset picture is ILTD with Jay at The Breakfast Club, taken on August 30. Last kulitan with Cueshe before their Pilipinas Tour kickoff. It was some sort of ILTD invasion that night, as all the members were present. Woohoo! We are better than you. No, seriously, we are. Gave Ruben his new black and white Superman belt (which Nicole bought for him) and we used that belt as a threat to Ruben if he didn't sing "With Or Without You". Which he did. So yay! Other than that, the guys didn't really sing any covers - mostly just songs from their first and second album. But they sang one of my favourites of theirs (Love Me Now Hate Me Soon) and all I have to say is that that should always be in their repertoire. Oh, and one of the waiters accidentally poured beer all over me so anyone I came within two feet of thought I was drunk.
The next night, I picked Carla up at her office and we went to Eastwood for the "kami nAPO" chuva. Met up with Iya, Joko and Vanessa there. Kamikazee were so awesome, by the way. Vanessa left early and the rest of us were going to head over to Metrowalk to watch Callalily but it's a good thing Carla called LT (from Soupstar) and we found out that the gig had been cancelled. LT told us to go to Starbucks where she was hanging out, along with Darwin (Callalily and 6 Cycle Mind's manager) and Kean of Callalily. Then there was some walking around and picture taking with people. Like Macoy of Orange & Lemons (see inset picture on the right...and I hope to God I got his name right), Jim Paredes, Jugs of Itchyworms, Marc of Shamrock, etc. And then we went to Teriyaki Boy and harassed Kean for pictures. Hahaha.
Anyways...have to get ready to go to the Penshoppe Denim Rockfest thingymajig now. I'll just end this entry with a few more pictures. The rest you can check out at
Carla's Multiply site.
ILTD with Jhunjie.
With Jim Paredes.
With Jugs of Itchyworms.
Girlies with Marc of Shamrock. Wouldn't have gotten this picture if it wasn't for Iya. Hehe.
ILTD = awesome love.
This post is dedicated to Rachelle Gabriel, or Elle. Or Elleh. Or my Punk Rock. Basically she is the bestest best friend ever and no one will ever be able to top her. This girl has been there for me for the last few years of my life and we've been through thick and thin together. If I had to list down everything she has done for me to make things a little easier or to make me smile or cheer me up when I'm feeling down, then I'd be writing all night. Hey, Elle, remember that sleepover at your house where we tried to watch The Amityville Horror? I say "tried" because we spent about 95% of the time looking away from the screen and then we put on that movie that put us to sleep in five minutes. Remember the sleepover at my house with your little sister where we made all those videos of us dancing to that "Can't Touch This" song? Remember your last visit to Philippines when I made you go to a Cueshe gig? Hehehe. I told you before that you cannot visit Philippines without going to one of their gigs! Remember all the websites we made, and the fandom, and the sitting together in class and laughing at all of our teacher's quirks? COMOIN!!! Hahahahaha. No words can express how fucking thankful I am that you are in my life and for all the memories. They are what I look back on when I need something to smile about. Your emails are the ones I can never bring myself to delete from my inbox. And I miss you so much. There are times when all I need is to be able to pick up the phone and call you but it's not that easy anymore. I cannot believe we are in living in different timezones now, and it sucks major. But I know that you will always be there for me, and I will always be there for you. 
Paint Pastel & Punk Rock ♥
Wednesday night. Cueshe gig in Padis LP. Sisig & San Mig Lite for dinner. Boring opening band with their songs meant for heartbroken people who want to get fucking wasted. Sending MMS to Chuck, Nonoy and Argie; cute pictures yehey! ALAK PAAAA!!! Special delivery of the Studex posters haha. Mike's pasalubong from Janet in Dubai; jumbo Toblerone and jumbo Marlboro for a spoiled drummer. Carla got the Toblerone! Feelingeras. Evilness. "May iingitin ako...mission na ito." Major, major kulitan with Jay. Less-than-wholesome thoughts and hoy, todo minanyak ako last night ah. My top that the PAs wouldn't stop commenting on. Carla and I staring at Argie for no reason other than to make him hilariously self-conscious. Brian being cute when we tried to do the whole staring thing at him too. Picture picture. Mike's awesome memory. "Look how they SHINE, look how they SHINE for you." Panira si Ruben. Hahahaha. Carla's "I HATE YELLOW!" comment. And constant yelling of "I DON'T WANNA MISS A THING!" Watching in lights; I follow your eyes, they meet mine, you make my heart beat just that bit faster. Picture picture. Kiss Kiss. Sleeping over at Carla's. PG sa Toblerone and chikahan galore. I love Cueshe. I love their PAs. I love Carla. The end. 
Mike & Carla. Cuteness. 
Yummy. 
Mission? Hell yeah. 
Hah. I don't know. 
And the only thing I can say is...I love Jay's necklace. 
Boobs and cleavage. 
Ever heard of lomo cameras? They're awesome. I have an Actionshot lomo, which I need to start using again, because they are the funnest cameras ever. And I hereby declare "funnest" an actual word. Bite me, Webster. Ever since Kuya Alvin set up my PC in my room, I've had access to all my old files from Hong Kong and I can't stop looking through old pictures. So expect me to post a lot more jpegs from my old life in fits of nostalgia. And just because I love pictures, and sometimes it rocks that I'm the only one that knows the stories behind them. Right now I'm thinking back on summer 2005, where beach trips, movies, caramel fraps, pools, casual flings with the shortest shelf lives ever, Death Cab for Cutie's "Photobooth" (among other songs), and Friday nights in Sai Kung ruled our world. 
Inset picture is ILTD with Jay at The Breakfast Club, taken on August 30. Last kulitan with Cueshe before their Pilipinas Tour kickoff. It was some sort of ILTD invasion that night, as all the members were present. Woohoo! We are better than you. No, seriously, we are. Gave Ruben his new black and white Superman belt (which Nicole bought for him) and we used that belt as a threat to Ruben if he didn't sing "With Or Without You". Which he did. So yay! Other than that, the guys didn't really sing any covers - mostly just songs from their first and second album. But they sang one of my favourites of theirs (Love Me Now Hate Me Soon) and all I have to say is that that should always be in their repertoire. Oh, and one of the waiters accidentally poured beer all over me so anyone I came within two feet of thought I was drunk. 
The next night, I picked Carla up at her office and we went to Eastwood for the "kami nAPO" chuva. Met up with Iya, Joko and Vanessa there. Kamikazee were so awesome, by the way. Vanessa left early and the rest of us were going to head over to Metrowalk to watch Callalily but it's a good thing Carla called LT (from Soupstar) and we found out that the gig had been cancelled. LT told us to go to Starbucks where she was hanging out, along with Darwin (Callalily and 6 Cycle Mind's manager) and Kean of Callalily. Then there was some walking around and picture taking with people. Like Macoy of Orange & Lemons (see inset picture on the right...and I hope to God I got his name right), Jim Paredes, Jugs of Itchyworms, Marc of Shamrock, etc. And then we went to Teriyaki Boy and harassed Kean for pictures. Hahaha. 
ILTD with Jhunjie.
With Jim Paredes.
With Jugs of Itchyworms.
Girlies with Marc of Shamrock. Wouldn't have gotten this picture if it wasn't for Iya. Hehe.
ILTD = awesome love.
