Organized Mess

As the title says, death to early morning classes. I'm sitting in my room with a cup of coffee, and my eyes are all puffy from lack of sleep, and I'm killing time before I have to start getting ready for my 7am class and I want nothing more than to lie down and just sleeeeeeep.

In all honesty, I really don't want to go to school anymore. At least, the school that I'm going to now. Absolutely no motivation. Don't like the classes, don't like my schedule, don't like most of the people. Wala na talaga akong gana.

And I feel like I'm going to need about five more cups of coffee just to get through today. And another five to get through tomorrow.

Took photos at a videoshoot for Brian Josef's first single, Crazy But Incredible, from his first single. Brian's an upcoming solo artist, so watch out for him and his single. Can't wait to see the video. Oh, and since they needed more people for the party scenes, guess who was an extra? Yours truly. Hahaha. Hurrah for the free booze! Although, I really am going to stay off beer from now on. Well, I'll try.

This is a mean-ish phrase that is, more or less, politically incorrect but speaks the truth, hence I am putting it here because there are so many fools using the internet right now.

"Internet fighting is like the Special Olympics - even if you win, you're still retarded."

Thanks to Hairspray (which rules!), I now have a thing for Zac Efron and his piercing blue eyes. Good Lord. He really pulls off the 60's dreamboy look, with the slicked back hair. And did I mention he has blue eyes? That are piercing? Because he does. *wipes drool* I'm considering actually watching the High School Musical movies now! Vanessa Hudgens is one lucky biatch.

Anyways.

I have to be at school by 5am. Crazy! So I'm not even going to bother with sleeping. Have a few things that must get done within this week. Like paying the SmartBro bill, projects, application for school vehicle sticker for car, study for exams, part-time job application, etc. Yes, I'm trying to find a part-time job application. Because I'm a starving "artist" slash starving college student. So there.

One of my bestfriends is going through a break-up and I am very, very tempted to go and kick the guy's ass for making her misreable.

I wanna watch Across The Universe so bad. Driving is fun (except in certain parts of Calamba) especially when I have Bloc Party playing. Almost 4 hours of standing and taking pictures during the CAS Student & Faculty Night earlier in school nearly killed my feet and back. I am stoked for the Fall Out Boy concert on the 21st!

I love baby Erika!

Katiekins, Joko and yours truly, in Starbucks (Greenbelt).

Callalily performing in Saguijo.

Empathy and understanding are obviously not in your dictionary, and time and time again you condemn me because I have a different way of thinking. You're so narrow-minded you can't see beyond what you believe is right, and everyone who doesn't think like you is wrong. Even with explanations, you cannot comprehend the meaning of compromise and lack of self-control due to severe emotional pressure. You are not the only one with problems, you are not the only one with the right to feel bad when life gets too draining, and you are not the only one that gets crushed when you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. Everything has to be about you yet you accuse me of being self-centered and selfish.

When I try to deal with my frustrations in my own way, even when it doesn't even concern you, you make it about you just as long as you can see it because it gives you a reason to pin something against me. You think it's okay for you to do what I do and then throw a fit when a word is spoken about it yet when I do it, it's a fucking crime. You claim that you cannot change your ways, yet you force me to change mine otherwise I suffer the consequences.

You don't wanna know what's really going on, because it might make you realize that there are some things that are meant to be forgiven. You would rather remain ignorant and hold onto those things so that you can use them one day. I am not innocent and neither are you.

I've realized that you're never gonna learn to practice what you preach. You're a hypocrite. You force values and morals onto one person but can't even follow the rules you laid out yourself. And then you wonder why the kids grow up to be so screwed up. You think age gives you authority...maybe it does, in SOME circumstances, but it doesn't always. People younger than you deserve respect too. Sooner or later, kids will turn into adults and the ones who are strong-willed enough will fight back.

You may not know me as well as you think you do, and that is one of the saddest things in the world (and if you did, then you would see that the person you need to save me the most from is myself), but let me tell you this...there are millions of things I would do for you and very little that I would not. If there's cash to spare, you will find that money has been deposited in your bank accounts, whether you asked for it or not; I will be there for any emergency, and all you'll need to do is call; and on any fucking day, of any fucking year, I will gladly take a bullet for you. So think about that the next time you yell at me and curse at me, the next time you accuse me of something that you are guilty of yourself, the next time you tell me that I don't care or that I'm a bad person, the next time you try to verbally or physically tear me into pieces for your own self-satisfaction. No matter how much you anger me, how much you make me cry, how much you break me in half, how much you try to degrade me...I will always keep in mind what you are to me, and I would rather draw my own blood than see yours spill.

I can't change who you are, or the things that you do, and I also cannot change what is between us.

You think that I have no heart, but tell me...whatever happened to yours?