Organized Mess

So the other day I was in class and I went completely berserk. I just started turning all the tables over and throwing chairs around and smashing things up. When I was through with my destruction, I calmly walked out of the room and straight to the Dean's office because I knew I was going to be sent there anyways. I got there and was asked to explain why I did what I did. And then I started crying when I opened my mouth to try and explain why.

Then I woke up. And I really was crying...and I couldn't stop.

I know that I don't need his bullshit and I never want to get hurt that way again. And yes, I am still fucking angry. But none of that changes the fact that I miss him more than I ever care to let on.

I know life doesn't end with this but I guess some days will just be harder than the rest. But the thing is...you're supposed to wake up from nightmares, not into them.